Sick kids must be going around. Cole had a fever yesterday afternoon but woke up fine this morning. I sent him to school but did ask his teacher to keep an eye on him. I got a call from Glenn at noon that they were trying to reach me - his fever is back. He has a good appetite but a fever, headache, and throat hurts. I hate it when my kids are sick, makes me feel very helpless. He has had a history of Strep Throat so I think we will just check in at the doctor today. He is very bummed not to be able to go to the Hallelujah Party at church. He was going to be a football player! Very sad about that but not so much about missing school (ha, ha)!

Breakfast woes

Have you ever had a morning, where you just can't seem to do anything right in your child's eyes? I had such morning as this today. I guess my expectations and his were a lot different. I suggested last evening that one day a week we all take turns making breakfast. I was thinking the responsiblity would be good for both of them. I thought I would help them make what ever they decided but they would have to plan the menu. Well, he was up early and then things preceeded to go down hill. I made coffee and he was mad at that. He wanted to make it before Glenn was up but I said that I would help him after my devotions, that was not good enough. What he said that he wanted to make last night -- was not what he wanted to make today and I did not have in the house what he wanted to make. Everything was wrong. I guess I should have planned this out a little more and actually start next week :( Life is just not simple sometimes! Oh, the life of a mom.
I wonder if I ever do that to God? When He calls me to do something to I throw fits if things just are not my way? If God has something set up ahead of time, do I complain because it's not the way I had pictured? Boy, God I am sorry for the things that I make it! Thanks for the reminder.... even if it had to be a breakfast meltdown.

Feelings stir when -

• you are completing your Bible Study that was started a couple months ago, wondering if the ladies will return to study another or will they say no
• your son struggles with homework and you don't know what to do to help
• when someone you love has to go to the doctor - what kind of news will you hear?
• when you clean your house but it doesn't look much different than when you started
• you would like to plan something fun but other things that are more pressing get in the way.

Feelings - the good, the bad and the ugly. Is there a movie or a book about that? There should be. These are the times when you rely on your God to get you through. What do people do when they don't have God to help them, heal them or support them? I bet they are feel pretty helpless. Glad I have my God!

Snazzy

Hey if you haven't heard the new CD by the Go Fish Guys, you have to! There are alot of great songs on the CD - Cole is singing them now and the CD is not even playing! It is a great CD and it's in stores now! I could do an advertisement for them! I really like the Mom Song, Hit the Drum, and Superhero but I also like American Kid and Jammies too. Well the CD is called SNAZZY and it's great!

Isaiah 43:10

"But you are my witnesses, O Isreal!" says the LORD. "And you are my servant. You have been chosen to know me, believe me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God; there never has been and never will be." Is 43:10

If you have studied Beth Moore's Believing God, this passage is familiar to you. I love this verse. I know that I have been chosen but sometimes I forget what I am chosen for. To know God...to Believe God...and understand that God alone is God! So in other words...

"But you are my witnesses,(my evidence) O Isreal!" says the LORD. "And you are my servant (worshipper of God). You have been chosen to know me(to recognize me, admit what I am doing, acknowledge me and confess it is me), believe me( to support or confirm me, to be faithful to me) and understand( to discern, understand and have insight) that I alone am God (I AM). There is no other God; there never has been and never will be."

Have a Great day!

Vague Answers

Have you ever really wanted to do something and you just don't know if your husband wants it? You've asked him and he is like, "Sure." So is that a "sure" I want you to go and have a good time or is it a "sure" you can go but I'd rather have you here with me?
But I realized now I really haven't gone to prayer about it. So maybe that's what's holding me back! Have I really committed it to prayer and sought out the Lord's advice? I guess not. So that's what I am going to do. Not stress over it, because that does no good but to let God be my guide. (and ask for a tiny bit of sunshine!) (Lord, I need a little after all the rain - thank you for the rain, but can we have a little sunshine, too?)

Empathy, Consequences and Fun!

So the two premises of Love and Logic are:

1. Kids crave the limits they argue about
2. Kids make good decisions by making lots of bad decisions - the road to wisdom is paved with lots of little mistakes

Empathy is the most important and then the consequence. Because empathy focuses on the child's action rather than the parents anger. It is also contagious because every time we use empathy we teach it.

Love and Logic rules:

1. Adult provides limits in a loving way -- there is a leadership vacuum, someone has to take the control and if the parent does not the kid does.
2. When kids cause a problem you hand it back in a loving way. Culture says that problems should be handed to someone else.

Isn't that the case! My kids are always trying to give me a problem and the trouble is sometimes I fall for it and take on their problem. Like if they are fighting, I will step in and handle it but I should be allowing them to deal with it and find a solution. So if siblings argue, Dr. Charles Fay says:

1. Stay out of the problem whenever possible.

• Don't figure out who started and make them say they are sorry
• Don't figure out who started being the bully and punish, because neither role-bully or victim is a healthy role
• Don't tell kids by getting involved that arguing is a good way to change the color of your face.

2. Say, "Looks like you guys have a problem you need to solve."

• Really saying,"You can solve this problem in any way that does not cause a problem for anyone else, I want to help , I'll be happy to share some ideas, when your voice is as calm as mine and one person talks at a time."

3. Ask them one more time to solve problem or go separate ways--say, "Well guys, what did I say?"

• or "Are you guys going to calm down or take it to separate spots?"

4. If it causes a problem for you let empathy and consequences to the teaching.

• "Oh, this is such an energy drain"
• or "Guys, this is so sad, Do you know when you fight and bicker it drains my energy?
• 2nd step - "How will you put energy back in me?"
• 3rd step - "Some kids - take all their toys and put them in the front yard and have a yard sale to pay for their babysitter so mom and dad can go out on a date - to get their energy back. How would that work out? or Some kids will dust the living room or clean toilets, how would that work for you? or Some kids will stay home from the soccer game so their mom and dad can rest up and gain back their energy."
• 4th step - If they ignore you - they are gone to school and come home they find their Nintendo gone - Mom says, "Oh this is so sad, but I learned that when I donate stuff to church that it really charges me up."
• or A babysitter comes. "Guys this is Mabel, She is going to watch you while mom and dad go out to restore their energy, and you can talk to her about how you would like to pay her, she does take toys as payment. Love ya. See ya later."

Now there must be empathy in there or it becomes a threat or a punishment. I was using what I thought was a consequence but it was a threat. - Grant said he does not want to go to school. I would say, "OK, You will have to pay for your babysitter." But I should have said, " Oh that's interesting. How will that work out for you? How are you going to pay for your babysitter?" See the difference between a threat and a consequence. There can be a fine line.

I was also saying if my sons acted up, Oh you need to go to bed 5 minutes early. But I should have been saying, " Oh this is so sad, when you yell about little things it show me you are tired, so we will get you to bed 5 min early. " The first is a punishment and the second is a consequence.

Parenting is the toughest job that we can ever have. I truly believe if we have the right tools that it can become easier and even fun! I again got this information from the Love and Logic Training that I went to, but for more information from the authors you can visit their website listed in my favorites.